Frail

I've been doing a lot of troubleshooting lately. If you're wondering what that means for an administrative pastor, think about that story problem in your 4th grade math class that totally kicked your rear, and after writing a hundred and one formulas on your scratch paper it ends up equaling a negative number (even though you didn't yet know those existed). Then you realize you're back at the beginning. I've learned a lot of new things since I began this administration journey, some things I wanted to know, some things I didn't, and some things I never knew I would want to know. Every time something comes up though, it seems like it's the same process: realization of my ignorance, frustration at the delay it is creating, perhaps a cookie to calm my thoughts, then researching or asking someone who is more wise than I.

Not to totally throw you off, but let me switch subjects here for a second, and I'll bring everything together in the end using our Pastor Josh 's patented bits and pieces method. As you may, or probably will soon either read or hear, most of the Trailhead staff has read or is reading the novel, The Shack, by Wm. Paul Young. (Please see Adam's, Trailhead Associate Pastor, entry Just One Big Fractal) I'm a little past half way now and I've been mulling a lot over the deep theological conversations Mack, the main character, and God are having during his stay at said shack. To clue those of you in who haven't heard of the book, Mack has gone through an intense tragedy and has questioned everything he thought about God, so God invites him to come visit and chat with him at a particular shack in a secluded state forest. The converstion topics range from general table manners to the meaning of suffering in the world.

One thing has really gotten to me, though, through all the amazingly moving exchanges Mack and God have in the book, and that is the overarching theme or idea that God, through His Holy Spirit, through His Son, and the Father, toghether, is trying to invite his children, us, into a relationship of mutual submission. Now all of you are thinking one of two things, A) what in the world does that theological mumbo-jumbo mean; or B) that's insane, God doesn't submit to anyone...He's GOD!

I would have to say that throughout my reading, I've been thinking the same thing, by that I mean option B (although A has come up a lot too). God is God right, that's why I capitalize the first letter when I write His name, that's why many Jewish people still won't say His name in their own language, that's why there are millions of songs, sermons, books, and stories about His power, that's what our knees were made for, and that's why it only feels right when you're on your face before Him worshipping. So how in the world could someone say that God desires to submit to our frail existence.

And in that tiny word I found my answer. Last night as I prayed, God sweetly reminded me of our fragile position in His creation. Just look at all the great landscapes that could swallow you a hundred times over without even the slightest blemish. Think about the enormous and magnificent processes He spoke into place, that when misjudged or ignored can destroy entire communities without even slowing their progress.

But it is in that same frailty that I find security, because for all His greatness, for all the awesome power at His fingertips, in everything He controls, God has made it abundantly clear that His only satisfaction rests in intimacy with this fragile spirit in me, and in you. For me, that was the realization that made it all fit.

Every day I'm going to encounter new challenges that get the best of me, whether it's accounting or just walking, and I know that God could just plant that knowledge in me and I could sail right along, but His ways and His thoughts are so much higher than mine. I could never understand all that's going on in the world around me. I don't know if I'll ever have answers for all our questions. I may never completely understand the reason for tragedy, and I probably will never comprehend the existence of extreme poverty and pain, nor will I learn the purpose of gnats, but I know that God, the author of the universe, loves me more than anything else in creation and He has better plans for me than I could ever imagine. So I'll gladly accept my lowly, frail position because I'd rather be in His love than any place where I'm in control.

I'm still not sure I would wholly agree or even understand The Shack's explanation of our relationship with God as Him submitting to us, but I have come to a humbled appreciation of His passion to be so involved, so intimately connected with His children.

In conclusion...thanks Papa (you'll just have to read the book).